Denial
by Diamond-Brit
Summary: When Merlin removed from society, and forced to fight, will he remain the lovable servant we all know and love?


AN:/ Sorry I haven't been updating recently, schools just been hectic. I have reread this story and have uncovered many many spelling errors, so this is the whole story (of what existed at least) rewritten, and reformatted.

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This wasn't how it was suppose to happen, this isn't how I wanted this to end. Me pitted against my friends, hidden, secluded, removed from society. I didn't want this, was I being punished? Punished for lying? Or am I simply a play thing for them to manipulate and torture. My hands are raw, the shackles so very tight against my wrists, digging into my weak flesh. I know now why Arthur always went easy on me, I not equipped for this can of strain. There`s no point trying to escape, last time I tried they broke my ankle twisting it at an natural angle. I haven't tried since, have they given up too? Have they lost all hope that I'll be found alive, or did they never look?

"Number 68 you're up!" The shrill voice of my `master` broke through my thoughts, dragging me back to the horrible reality. I stood, grimacing at the stale smell sticking to my clothing. Large hands gripped my shoulders, bruising the damaged skin. The leg shackles dropped to the floor, clanging upon the cellar floor, the wrist ones, however remained. Emphasizing my place. Dumb and dumber pushed me down the hall, screeches and cheers following me, other prisoners cheering for my death. Wishing it upon me. The large, metal doors creaked open, the bright light blinding me and basking the ugly hell hole, in rich yellow. Showing the shallow, sunken faces of my `friends`.

The two idiots pushed me to the ground, my wobbly knees slamming into the unforgiving ground. As I groaned, they left slamming the doors behind them, trapping me outside, trapping me with the enemy. Tall stands circled around the pit, thousands of people staring, as though we were animals on display, in the center a single pillar stood, the stone covered in blood, hands, feet and heads hammered into the sides, torturing the losers for all eternity, A clang drew my attention to the left, a large sword was thrown in the pit, the tip blunt and the side marked with teeth. I bent, holding the sword between my shackled hands, the handle resting against my chest. Before I could gather my nerves a swipe to the face drew me back to earth.

Before me stood a large man, his figure built with years of muscle, his forehead straining my veins. But the worst of all was his predator like grin, a newbie. A new warrior, straight from the lot, he has no idea what's in store for him, has no idea what nightmares lie beyond that door. I feel sorry for him, to be once so blissfully unaware then to be thrown head first into the war. I was once like him, once.

He charges at me, rage and determination clear on his face, his fingers wrapped around the sword so tightly it was as though it was a part of him. Before he connects I roll to the left, leaving his sword to slice the air. I run behind him, sliding my leg across the ground, slamming into his ankles causing him to plummet to the ground. He quickly regains his balance, his sword slicing closer and closer to my face, inches away from my nose. Without breaking time he throws a left hook slamming into my cheek, causing me to crumble to the side, hitting my head against a conveniently thrown rock. I grip it blindly, and with as much force as I could manage I slammed the rock into his head, throwing him to the side. I scamper up, and lift my sword and with my last remaining strength, threw it through his neck, the metal slicing the skin and hacking of the head, where it fell uselessly to the side, his body followed, tipping over and falling backwards. I did it, I didn't give up...Arthur would be proud.

Camelot

The heavy sound of hooves hitting the forest floor bounced through the night. Four darkened figures hung on their backs, gripping the horses main edging them to go faster. They ran through branches, snapping them as easily as string. Ragged breathing was followed by broken off sobs, the sound torture to anyone with ears. They broke through the clearing, jumping over hills and slamming down onto the draw bridge, they came to a stop, their shoulders heaving and their legs wobbling. Without warning the draw bridge opened, the metal chains clanging in the wind, the man led their horses through, uncaring of how they looked, their eyes dull and their faces pale. They gave the horses to some servants, offering strained smiles in a way of thanks.

"How did it go?" Gwen asked stepping down the stairs her smooth hair tied in a ribbon. Her eyes shining with tears, she gripped the main figures head, removing the hood. Arthur stood before her, his once blond hair tainted with mud and his vibrant eyes empty and shallow.

"We...we found this." He whispered before going to the bag around his shoulder, shaking he removed a bundled up piece of fabric, his hand gripping it tightly. Without looking Gwen in the eyes, he dropped it into her hands, the red material instantly recognizable.  
"His scarf..." She broke down, gripping the material close to her chest, tears streaming down her face. "How?"

Arthur swallowed, his eyes drawn to the ground, "We found it in the forest, covered in mud. It was next to his horse...it didn't survive. Gwen..I'm sorry." He broke off as she turned violently her hand slapping him across the face.

"Don't! Just don't Arthur! You don't get to be sorry, you don't get to sit here wishing it didn't happen. Because you know what Arthur? It did and it's all your fault!" She hiccuped going for another slap, before she could connect Arthur's hand shot forwards gripping her wrist, "You think I don't know that Gwen? That I don't wish every day of my life that I didn't cause my best friend to vanish. Because I do Gwen, I do." He dropped her wrist, turned and retreated to his room to lick his wounds in peace.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

3 weeks prior

"Merlin get back!" Arthur yelled slamming his sword into the enemy's stomach, knocking him to the ground. His blond hair flew in the wind, his armour shining in the bright sunlight.

Merlin was surrounded, his eyes darting from enemy to enemy, his body quaking with fear. At his feet a pale man sat curled inwards, his legs limp in the mud. An arrow was buried in his chest, the wooden handle painted with his blood. His head was shaved, boils an blusters scattered across his skull.  
"You!" One of the enemies yelled, his sword pointed forwards. "You killed the masters pet! You ruined the perfection! How dare you!" His lips curled in distaste.

Merlin violently shook his head, his raven locks curling around his ears. "I didn't!" He yelled, stepping back from the weapons. "I swear I didn't!" His eyes flew to Arthur, still locked in battle. The enemy again drew in closer, his fist tightening around the sword's handle. "Oh? Then pray tell who did? Was it the prince? The oh so noble Arthur Pendragon." He spat on the corpus, yellow saliva dripping down his beard. Merlin gave no response unwilling to sell out his prince.

"I...did it...I did it okay?! But it was an accident I swear! He...he jumped out in front of us...I mean me and I acted..." He cringed willing his nervousness to leave him.  
The group glanced at the body, and as they shared a glance, came to the same conclusion.

"Fine, we believe you." Merlin let out a sign a smile beginning to blossom on his face, but the next words crumbled any hope he had left.  
"The master needed a new pet anyway"

The last thing he heard before he was struck, was Arthur's agonizing cry of "Merlin!"

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Time goes by slowly, or as slow as I think. It's hard to tell when night is night and when day is day, no light comes into my cell, the thick bricks cutting me off from the outside. Secluding me, isolating me. They hope to remove my spirit, to remove my carefree nature, they want to break me, I know they do. I'm not as stupid as people say, I've noticed the glances, the disgust filled gazes sweeping across my body. They're repulsed, but what I'm not sure, all I know is that I'm unlike others in this prison. They all have hallowed out eyes, their life sucked out of them, leaving them nothing but a shell, filled with horror.  
I've seen stuff, stuff I never wished to witness, murder, such a simple word for such a horrific action. I've seen my own share of death, ages ago in Camelot, it was a typical Tuesday. So very common to see a man, a women or even children being slaughtered, but in some twisted sense I was glad it was quick, a slice to the neck, ending all suffering. It's better than what happens here, here there is no easy way out, there isn't a quick painless death, no that is too much of a privilege. We didn't deserve it, we hadn't earned that right.

Its sick, families ripped apart, mothers, brothers, sister and fathers pitted against each other for the sick amusement of others. Is this what animals feel like? Free will ripped from them, piece by piece? I've never felt so inhuman my whole life.  
My magic's been failing. The simplest of spells leaving me so very drained, unable to even lift my head, I don't know what's happening. When I first came here, I waited till they slept and tried to break the lock, for hours I tried but all I could accomplish was a single dent in the metal, something was wrong, very wrong.

A thud drew my attention to the cell door, a figure was thrown, his knees smacking against the harsh concrete and his lungs failing to breathe. A thin man stood over him, his large nose hanging over a thin pencil like mustache and his lips curled down. "Pathetic!" He yelled spitting on the body, causing him to curl up even tighter. The man leaned back, his back cracking, and placed his foot against the cell, leaning back causally. "You can't find good ones can you?" I didn't response, just crossed my arms over my chest, shielding my body from the cold. He scowled, regained his footing, and stalked towards me, the stale stench of beer and smoke clouding my throat.

"You think you're hot shit don't you?" He questioned leaning into my space. His thin fingers poking at my chest. "Well you're not, I'll tell you. You're just another bitch for the boss to make sing." I don't know what came over me, before I could blink, I shot back and punched him in the face, slamming him to the side, causing him to crumble down.

"Don't" I spat all energy drained from me "Call" I gulped, my fist stinging and blood trickling down my arm. "Me a bitch" The guards dart forwards, their beefy arms wrapping around my torso, dragging me back into a unwelcome embrace.

"Well then, seems you need to be taught a lesson boy." Sometimes I just wish I could learn to shut up, the man loosens his belt, the snake skin peeling from the pristine pants. "You know how a bitch." He spat in my face, the yellow liquid dripping down my face, "learns there place? We make them beg." He drew back the belt, slamming it through the air, connecting with my legs, the material digging and digging into my skin.

"You`re useless! Pathetic! Spineless!" With each insult he whipped the belt, cutting so very far into my skin. Before I could think, the distant feel of my magic began licking at my soul, yearning and begging to be release. I couldn't contain it, and with a violent tugged it escaped. Only nothing happened, no movement what so ever, my eyes grew wide, as I struggled to make anything happen, spells escaping my lips at rapid speed. I wasn't hysterical, my body shaking, no longer feeling the pain, no longer feeling the sting. I was gone...my magic was gone.

The beating lasted awhile, their breathing becoming shallow, until finally they stopped.  
They just left me curled up in a ball, shaking with blood lost and fear. I was going to die here, die alone, die without my mother, die without my friends...without Arthur.  
And clang came from the cell next to me, the metal shaking with the strain.  
"Hey...hey kid." A voice broke through the silence, the rusty voice offering comfort. I groaned, struggling to shift to my side, I drew my knees up, pushing against my chest, and with a heave I managed to sit up. I rested against the bars, my bare back shivering against the cold.

"Yeah?" I answered praying that I wouldn't put my foot in my mouth. "You the new kid?" He asked appearing from the shadows, he was taller, taller than Gwaine. And had bold, broad shoulders. His air fell in ripples, curling around his ears, but his eyes were what drew my attention. Sharp, clear blue, spirals of green swirling around the iris. "Y..yeah? That obvious?" I chuckled trying to break the silence.

He looked down his eyes raking over my bony shoulders, my thin wrist and my sunken stomach. "You look like a new born kitten, so yeah I'd say it's pretty obvious." He smirked before sitting behind me, back to back. "How long you been here?" I didn't answer, I couldn't, time seemed irrelevant. "Well, I've been here since I was your age, your what ten?" He joked before stopping at the glare I threw him. "Okay, okay princess. Been here for five years now, least that's what the board tells me." He nodded to a slab of concrete the black coated with white streaks, smudges adoring the edges.

"Mustn't that get boring?" I asked before I could think, he turned his eyes narrowing with displeasure. "Well I was planning on going to the market, but you know taxes these days." He scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest, his happy demeanor draining instantly.  
I scooted back and turned to face him, or rather his back.

"...I'm sorry..I didn't mean anything." But only silence greeted me, I signed and stood, my back creaking with protest. And as I retreated to my bed, I knew I lost my chance at having a friend in this hell.

-

"Hey kid!" The rusty voice awoke me, the harsh bang following his yell, the warning came too late, and before I could stand, a freezing bucket of water was dumped on my head, chills instantly sent down my spine. My eyes flew open and locked onto my tormentor. The one person I was dreading to meet, dreading to stand against...Morgana.

"Oh Merlin, Merlin, you're just a jinx for trouble, aren't you? She cooed, her thin fingers gripping my chin, drawing me closer and closer to her, her red lips curling with glee.

"You have no idea how pleased I am to see you." She giggled her long hair whipping to the side as she whirled around towards the guards. "You should have shown me earlier, how dare you keep this prize away from me!" She yelled slapping them across the face, leaving sharp pink hand print in its wake. "Go now, I wish to see to him myself." The guards left, their heads down and tails swinging between their legs.

"How?" I finally spoke, the rashness of my voice caused her to withdraw I surprise. "Well, well, little Merlin has finally gotten a back bone!" She mocked before her face grew solid, no traces of amusement left.

"Do you wish me death? Do you wish that the poison you blessed me with, completed its job? Do you wish me to suffer? Oh dear Merlin." She lent forwards her face an inch away from mine, and with a lunge she captured my lips, sealing off any protest, she snarled and pulled back, her lips a dirty red. "I'm far from dead."

She tightly gripped my arms, her claws digging into my flesh, blood leaking from the cuts. "Stand like a man." She hissed, pulling me up, I planted my feet on the ground, holding off bouts of sickness. "Come." She led me out of the cell, and I just followed her, stumbling along like a obedient puppy, it sickened me to the core, I was becoming lost, lost among the thousands of souls ripped from families.

She pulled open a door, the sharp creak ringing in my ears. Before me was not a man, but a shell. Long, greasy hair covering the face, bones straining to hold up the weight. His knees shaking, blood pooling beneath his feet. "Beautiful isn't he?" Morgana whispered beside me, her hands creeping up my neck, tightening her hold.

My eyes became fixed on the man, his chest hardly moving with each intake of oxygen. "Who...who is he?" I asked, dreading with every second the answer. She leaned in closer, her lips trickling my cheek. "A knight." She pushed me forwards, forcing me to my knee before the man. "Look at him, look how the mighty fall." She walked behind him and placed a freshly washed hand on his head. With a snarl she pulled up the head and showed him to the world.

Elyan...Gwen's brother.

"No..no you can't!" I yelled struggling to regain my footing. "What have you done to him!?" I fell, too weak to support myself. Morgana released his head and drew back a hand, and slapped him across the face, awaking him from his restless sleep. "What have I do to him? What have I done? Do not place the blame on me Merlin! You do not understand the cruelty he has inflicted on my people!" She aimed a kick to his side, inches from his stomach, Elyan tensing in pain.

"Don't!" I yelled leaking out my magic, slamming her to the side, causing her to tumble to her knees. Silence, nothing but silence. I gazed at my hand, gold dancing around my palm.

"You!" Morgana yelled stumbling to her feet. "I knew there was a warlock here, but for it to be you? A pathetic servant? After everything I've been through? You had magic?! And you let me suffer?" Her voice became hysterical, the shrill pitches shattering the chains surrounding Elyan.

How? I asked how was this possible? My magic wasn't working, but know I've never felt so powerful.

"You decided your own path, Morgana. That wasn't my fault!" Magic began to lick around my body, heat burning away at my soul. "The hell it wasn't!" Morgana yelled, throwing a burst of magic my way, the dark sparks connecting my mine. Back and forth, magic was thrown, I held it up, my eyes burning with a fire I never felt before.

But I was too weak, too exhausted to keep it up, my arm dropped, the magic stopping as I fell to the ground, coughing and shaking with pain. "Well the mighty do fall far, don't they?" Morgana yelled, stalking towards me, her dress swaying in the breeze. She raised her claws, the devilish gleam in her eyes overcoming her being. She drew back and...  
Thud. Elyan drew himself from the floor, and threw his weight onto her, smacking her with the chains, leaving her unconscious.

"That was eventful." He whispered slumping down, all strength leaving him. "Next time you throw magic around aim for the part of the chain not near my hands okay?" I gazed at him my heart pounding away at my chest.

"You`re not disgusted? I mean about this?" I asked sweeping a hand across my body. Elyan meet my eyes, an amused gleam in his. "You really think I didn't know? God Merlin for such a nice lad, you can be pretty dense." He shrugged, coming to rest against me, he shoulder rubbing against mine. But as he sat down a clang bounced through the cell.

"What's that?" I asked drawing my eyes from Morgana's slumped figure, her eye lids twitching. "Oh nothing, just something Arthur gave me awhile back." Elyan withdrew it from his pocket, the gold chain shining in the light.

I felt a tug, a strong pull against my soul, the chain began to float, hovering above our heads. "Merlin? It's never done that before." Elyan stuttered following the chains movement, suddenly it began to glow, the brightness blinding us. With a pull it flew to my chest, slamming against the skin and clipping itself around my neck. The chain connected my magic.

It was back, however small, however weak my magic was back. I don't know how but I was more connected to Arthur than I realised.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Sire?" The hesitant voice of Gaius broke through Other's mind, his oldest friend was hovering before him, his wrinkled hand place on his shoulder. "Sire...I fear young Arthur is losing his way." Other scowled his face tightening with strain.

"How so Gaius? My son, my child is fine, he is merely being stubborn." He shrugged of the hand and sunk into his throne, looking the spitting image of a child having a tantrum.  
"As you are now sire? I wish not to belittle you, but merely to show my concerns. I believe Arthur to be running himself to the ground with grief. Sire you need to talk to him." 

Uther stood, his cloak sweeping across the castle floor. "I knew it was a bad idea." He yelled, his voice bouncing from the walls.  
Gaius started at him, his eyebrows drawn in confusion. "What was a bad idea my lord? What do you regret?" Uther let out a scream, his face turning red with anger. "Allowing that worthless, pathetic servant stay." Gaius swallowed a gasp, his hands curling into fist. "What do you mean? My lord." He asked, only just remembering his manners.

"That child, what's his name Merlin? If I just killed him before than my child wouldn't be an emotional wreck! He wouldn't be crying himself stupid! Nor would he be turning into the bumbling that was once my son, If I killed that waste of space then-!"

A harsh slap silence the king mid sentence, the wrinkled hand withdrawing in a slow pace, the palm quickly blooming into red. "I wouldn't if I was you Sire. You may not know this, but that, waste of space as you so delicately put, is by far the most liked in the kingdom, and I dread to be in your spot when they get wind of your thoughts. That boy is my child, no matter the blood. I will stand by his stand, far before I shall stand by yours." He gulped, his eyes glistening with tears. "But do you know what I most proud of? The fact that when, when not if, Merlin returns he will forgive you, he will forgive you simply because that's what he does, that boy doesn't have a bad bone in his body, and you dare talk down about him?." He turned unable to stand the look of betrayal on Uther's face. "Until you stand by your child's side, until you respect my child, I shall not respect you."

The door slammed behind him, leaving Uther alone in his pain.

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"Arthur, come on, you've got to stop doing this to yourself." Gwaine gazed at Arthur, his eyes wondering over his figure, gone was the baby fat, gone was the smug grin, all that remained was a hollowed out shell.

"What do you mean? I'm not doing anything wrong." Arthur yelled from his covers, the thick blankets muffling his voice. His back arched as Gwaine pulled the covers of, exposing his skeleton like body to the harsh air.

"I'm talking about this Arthur! You're breaking down to nothing! Do you think punishing yourself will being Merlin back because it won't-" Gwaine broke of as a sob escaped the broken king.

"I know that! You think I don't! Oh god Gwaine I know it won't bring Merlin back! But I have to do something, how can I stuff myself stupid when Merlin's out there starving! I just can't do it Gwaine." He threw himself back under the covers, his heartbreaking sobs stabbing Gwaine through the chest. He backed away, his boots making the smallest of sounds on the floor.

Once in the hall, his shoulder's sagged and his head fell forwards, a heavy sign escaping his clenched teeth. "Bloody hell kid you're killing him."

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Merlin POV

We sat there for awhile, Elyan's breath slowly becoming lighter. The chain felt heavy against my chest, the low thud of magic warming my core.  
"We should go" Elyan broke the silence, his eyes locked onto Morgana, moving in sync with each shallow breath she had. "How long will she be under?"

My eyes fell to the floor, tracing the puddle of water with my finger. "I don't know."  
Elyan followed my gaze, his mouth turning down.

"How can you not? You've studied this stuff before? Right?" He placed his hand over mine, stopping my actions.

"Not really." I answered my hand curling around his. "Yes I've had some practice." I answered holding back my ironic laughter. "But, well ever since I've been here" I've lost track of time. "My magic's been failing." I gazed at the chain, bringing my free hand up to hold it tight.

"Arthur's chain." Elyan jumped in, his eyes holding a spark of realization. "That gave you power?" He asked drawing himself impossible closer, his warmth offering me strength.

"A friend, well told me that Arthur and I, we're linked, bonded together. I guess I get my strength from him. As cheesy and cliché as that sounds." My eyes began to water, tears slowly trickling down my cheeks. "Can I ask you something?" Elyan drew himself up, and turned his attention focused fully on me, his eyes filled with concern.

"Will he hate me?"

A simple question which held so much meaning. 'Will I be welcomed back?, will I still have a home?"

"Merlin don't say that, you know he won't." Elyan pulled me to the side, his hands coming up to grip my face, his eyes locked onto mine. "Merlin, this is Arthur you're talking about, yes he's a prat but do you honestly think you're friendship means that little to him? That he'll throw it away, just like that?" I gulped, and drew up eyes down, unable to meet Elyan stare, shame blooming through my head.

"I...I don't know Elyan. You've seen the...the executions, fathers and mothers killed for protecting their children. If not Arthur than Uther will surely have my head." I began to cry, tears streaming down my face, fear shaking its way to my core.

"He won't find out, not until you're ready Merlin."

"You..you won't tell?" I asked hope blossoming at the surface.

"You're my friend Merlin, and let's get one thing clear. I don't betray my friends."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A thud drew us from the silence, the sharp noise breaking the calm.

"What was that?" Elyan whispered, his hand gripping my wrist, his nails digging into my skin. I didn't answer, just forced myself up, knees shaking with the lack of use. My eyes flew to Morgana, waiting for any sign of awareness. When none came I turned on my heel, and gripped Elyan's by the shoulders.

"Listen." I barked tightening my hold. I nodded my head to the door, the thuds growing louder. "Someone, or something is coming for us. We have to go." Elyan stared back at me, his eyes growing misty.

"I can't Merlin." He whispered drawing his arms around his middle. I sent him a bemused look, my anger growing, why wouldn't he just move? He took notice of my anger and stepped away from me. "I just can't, you think I haven't tried?" His body shivered, shaking with both fear and coldness.

"Why can't you? Come on the doors right there!" I yelled darting forwards to wrap my hand around his wrist, my hand easily swallowing his sunken skin.

"Because I can't! I physically can't!" His free hand dropped to his pants, figures bunching up the fabric, Elyan tugged and with a frustrated growl he pull the leg up, exposing the raw tattered remains of his ankle. Cracked skin hanging from threads, blood streaking in swirls pooling at his feet, the bone peaking between the ripped muscle. I gasped backing up, my hand dropping from his wrist, how had I not noticed?  
"Dear god Elyan what happened? How did you end up here in the first place?" I asked pushing back the desire to vomit. Elyan dropped the pants leg, grimacing as it scratched against his skin.

He turned towards Morgana, hatred growing.

"That bitch" He spat, lips curled in disgust. "Threw some magic against me, knocked me unconscious, next thing I know I'm curled up half naked in this cell. The thing is Merlin?" He look to me confusion clouding his eyes. "The door was wide open, I should have known, but I was filled with anger, heck I was pissed even. So I didn't think, I stumbled to my feet, blood sticking to my feet, and I ran, ran like wolves were at my heels. I didn't make it." He gulped eyes closing, his body shaking.

"Elyan..." I began but was cut off as he regained his composure. "I have never felt as much pain as I did that moment, fire licking up my body, burning, burning me. The hot flames circling my body." He turned his back to me, hands wrapping around his arms, offering little comfort. "I was flung back, hitting the floor so hard my hip shattered, bones breaking through skin. I was stupid though, I tried again, again and again, until finally I couldn't move, couldn't speak. Then she came, Morgana, the princess, the beauty of Camelot." A chuckle escaped him, a harsh raspy sound sending a shiver down my spine.

"I used to love her did you know? Me the foolish blacksmith, I thought she'd finally see me as the knight I knew I'd become. Stupid right?" A sob broke through him, his head bowing in self defeat. I crept closer, my eyes shining with tears.

"Elyan you don't have to continue, stop before you hurt yourself." Elyan drew back his shoulders, and brought up a hand trying to remove any trace of tears.

"No...I have to do this. Morgana...she stood before me, her hair blazing in the torch light, her eyes burning with hatred, she spoke, her voice deadly calm, smooth like silk. She looked me in the eyes and with no hesitation whispered the words. "You're mine now." Never in a million years did I think innocence Morgana could hold that much anger. Turns out she spelled the door to send fire to my core, every time in got within five feet, it's connected to my ankle, the magic linked, as long as the magic is in me, I'm not leaving this cell." He finished tears streaming down his face, clear liquid mixing with rose red.  
I couldn't think, I couldn't move. I just stood there frozen as Elyan spilled his heart, his fear evident in his voice. I strolled towards him and pulled him to the ground, sitting huddled together against the wall. "Merlin...I don't want to die here." And as we sat there, I knew I wasn't going to let that happen.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Elyan." I whispered, pulling away from his embrace, my shoulder wet from his tears.  
"Elyan I know what we have to do...you're not going to like it." I confessed, hardly believing that this idea was even an option, but as I saw Elyan regress into himself, I knew I had to try. He looked up at me, his skin sunken and eyes dark with fear. He didn't question me, he simply stumbled up and threw his arms out, his body screaming for any kind of help.

I braced myself against the wall, my left hand flat against the surface, I stared at Elyan as I drew my hand up. I pushed with all my strength willing the magic to creep back, willing it to help me. Sparks swirled through my eyes, the gold lighting up the cell, the darkness becoming distant as I stared at my friend, my friend who openly trusted me. I breathed in and threw a blast forwards, the golden ball darting from my palm, slamming Elyan back, his head bouncing on the hard floor. I didn't want him awake for what was about to happen. I released my hold on the wall and slowly crept towards his fallen figure. I dropped to my knees, the cold digging into my skin.

I hovered my hand over his leg, the magic swirling around his body. Black sparks darting around his body, condemning him to his torture. I breathed my chest tightening with sorrow, and then I began to chant. "Auferte malum, tollitur membrum, auferte malum" A swirl of blue emerged from my palm, red dancing in the center. If fell, gently resting against Elyan's ankle, his skin glowing. My eyes flew to his face, his face peaceful in sleep, his mind lost in the depths of his dreams, I only hope they were better than mine.

Before I could stop I pushed on, straining to push my magic to extremes. The swirls wrapped around his ankle, twisting and circling around the thin limb, and slowly it decreased in size, the mist and swirls closing tighter around the skin, pressing and pressing, it broke in, the mist sweeping the tight layer of skin, blood spitting out, splashing me in the face, the red staining my pale complexion. The magic broke the bone, broke the muscle, and before too long it separated the limb, the detached ankle falling to the side, blood trailing from the opening. I pushed away from Elyan falling to the side, vomit escaping me, I was unable to stop. Sickness plaguing me, oh god what have I done? Elyan...Elyan I snapped out of myself pity and slapped myself across the face, my palm leaving a deep print across my face.

"No. You can't stop now, he's come too far for you to weak out. Get yourself together Merlin!" I crept back to Elyan, my left hand wrapping around his cold one, fingers digging into his skin, grounding us both to reality. My right hand again hovered over his bloody stump, the blood still oozing out, the fresh stench remaining in my mind. I prayed for my magic to stay, prayed for the strength I knew I needed.

My eyes glowed, power slowly returning. "Þurhhæle licsar min" The bright light escaped me, the intense heat bubbling and licking away at the wound, pushing and pushing until finally the blood stopped, and as the light died the smell of burnt flesh was the only sign that remained, and as my vision blurred I felt peace that I hadn't felt in over a year. Elyan was safe and that's all that mattered.

I woke with a yell, my core burning, and eyes flashing. I was curled in a ball, my legs drawn up to my chest, my bony knees digging into my chest. My hand was wrapped tightly around Elyan's, his cold body shivering. I pulled myself up, knees landing on the harsh ground. My head felt heavy, my ears ringing, blood rushing to my head. Elyan was unresponsive, his head tilted to the right, his mucky hair wet with sweat, clinging to his forehead.

I turned to the door, praying that my magic had worked, praying that I hadn't just crippled my friend, all for nothing. Morgana was still out, her chest slowly moving with each intake of air. The cell was becoming darker, I didn't know what time but I knew it had to be late, a shrill hoot of an owl made me snap my head towards the window, the think bars letting in a tiny shred of light. I turned back to Elyan, my hands flying to his arms, wrapping around his too thin flesh. I tugged, bring my knees together, eventually I managed to get him half sitting, half laying across me, his limp arms dangling lifelessly.

"Bloody 'ell you need to lose a couple stone there mate." I grumbled trying to hide how weak I had gotten, "And I say Arthur's getting fat." I got to my feet, Elyan resting on his knees, his back placed against me. I pulled him up, his arm wrapped around my neck and his body dragging against the floor.

I dragged him to the doorway, his feet sloshing in the puddles and as we reached the doorway, I slammed my eyes shut, tensing as I awaited the shock...nothing. No zap, no fire or pain occurred. The magic worked, I let out a sigh, my shoulders sagging in relief. Luckily not guards appeared, the hallway was eerily silent, only the sound of water to break the calm. I began to pull us down the hall, grimacing as my bare feet sunk into puddles, the colour indicating urine. I still felt drained, my magic only hovering on the surface, inches away from my grasp. Still I worked through the pain.

Eventfully I came to dead end, the darkness surrounding us, basking us in it's dangerous presence, I place Elyan down, the wall cradling his body, the coldness easing his fever. I looked up, the only shred of light was emitted from a small torch placed just above my head, the flames licking away at the still air, I stood on my toes and wrapped my hand around the base, pulling with my last ounce of strength until it broke from its hold, surprisingly the base gave of no heat, but rather a coldness that I have learnt to dread, dragon hide, the base was constructed of the skin of a dragon, the innocent creature killed and gutted simply for decoration, it made me ill but I swallowed my sickness and gripped the base tightly, pushing the image of a dying dragon from my mind.

I just hope I had the strength to save both of us.

"Father?" The hesitant voice of Arthur Pendragon broke through the silence of the grand hall, each knight turning towards the entrance, their eyes widening as they took in the appearance of the prince. A sharp glare from the king silenced any mockery from being uttered, instead they sat silently only communicating through confused glances.

"Yes son? Is everything fair?" The king was unusually patient; the conversation or rather the belittlement Gaius subjected him to; had left him weak, confused and rethinking his way of ruling. Arthur glanced at the knights, his face set in a deep frown, Uther took the hint and waved a dismissive hand which sent each knight grumbling through the doors.

"Arthur take a seat, what is the matter?" Arthur slumped towards the table, his face heavy with an unkempt beard, eyes dull and lifeless and his fingers shaking. He sat two seats down from his father, not yet ready for the closeness it offered.

"It's." He began before stopping to let out a dry cough, the hacking shaking his very core. "it's Merlin...I worried father, he's never been away from me...erm Camelot for this long before and well who knows where he is? The last I saw of him he was so sacred, brutally taken be force, those monsters hurting him. I saw it happen yet I did nothing, just sat there shaking in my armour, weak and pathetic, not at all like the ruler I should be, I let my man suffer and no matter what you say father, Merlin is just that MY man, my first real friend. Yet I let them hurt him...it's my fault." He broke down, throwing himself into his father's arms, weeping with all he had. Uther sat there, his heart breaking as his son broke down, no traces of disgust nor anger graced his features, just the signs of a destroyed father.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I glanced over to Elyan, his forehead glistening with sweat, it had been little over ten minutes since he regained consciousness his mind still weary and unfocused, his fever beginning to spike.

I stumbled towards him, gripping him beneath his arms. His head lolling side to side, words slurring at a constant speed. I backtracked, searching high and low for any exit, we couldn't stay here, Elyan couldn't.

Somehow I felt a strong pull coming from a hall way, the darkness encasing it tightly, I shrugged willing to go for any chance of survival, if it was luck then so be it. I tightened my grip on Elyan and shuffled towards the hall, my feet softly smacking against the stone. I was surprised that we hadn't encountered any obstacles, no guards protecting the castle, nor Morgana. I just felt a intense pull in my gut, my stomach turning and twisting. Still I fought on, needing to get Elyan home..home to Gwen. It was simply luck that I found him, that I managed to safe him...or what was left of him. However I knew that our luck was about to run out. How soon I didn't know but I knew that we couldn't survive much longer.

Finally I reach a clearing, a small window buried within stone, the glass peaking out allowing small rays of sun to leak through. I was large enough to squeeze through, if we held our breath that is. However this is a good as we could get. I place Elyan down; funny how I'm treating him like a defenceless puppy; and walked towards the window, slowly tapping it with my knuckle, the sharp tap loud in the silence. I glanced behind us, dread seeping into my heart, there sitting bang in the centre, trapping us, was a beast. A large beast, a thick coat of fur covering its body, patched ripped from the roots, leaving red welts over its stomach and back. It's snout was long, black and marked with cuts, the nose exposed. It's mouth was drawn back, sharp teeth hanging over cut lips, blood staining the tips. It's claws were extended, the first broken and chipped. It's ears drawn back.  
It wasn't a dog, nor was it a wolf, I was too large and it radiated magic, whatever it was, it was angry.

I stumbled back, my shoulders hitting the wall, hand shaking as I held them up in a sign of submission, unwilling to set off the beast. It didn't work, the beast lunged forwards, jaw unlocked and teeth extended. It locked onto my arm, teeth sinking into the flesh, the sharp teeth easily digging through, locking onto bone.

I feel to my back, the beast covering my stomach, the heavy breath coating my face with saliva. The beast panted, his teeth moving side to side. I dug up my heels and kicked at its chest, my bare feet making no dent. The dog drew back, the sickly wet sound of flesh ripping, swarming my mind. In his jaw was a thin piece of flesh, the blood violently sprayed on it, as though it were a mere canvas. I gagged my face turning a deep green, my remaining throat clenching in trying to stop the stream of blood, to no avail. The beast was again upon me. It's jaw now coming to lock on my wrist, the bone cracking under the strain of the fangs, splitting through the skin, my head began to swim, blood rushing to my ears.  
My free hand began to search around the stone below me, searching for any kind of weapon I could use, anything to survive. The beast ripped away from me, it's lips foaming, blood trickling down its chin.

My hand wrapped around a rock, the jagged edges cutting into my already damaged skin, I let out a sob, the wild look in the beast's eyes sending levels of fear that I had never felt before, yes I've faced worst, but not like this, not weak and defenceless, I always had my magic, always had it protecting me...now I'm just Merlin, the bumbling idiot servant to the prince, always falling over and causing a mess. But dear god I don't want to die, not here, not away from my home. If anything I want to die on my terms, only when I've truly given up, not yet, not until I've tried, not until Elyan is safe.

I gaze at the beast, it's chest heaving and just as he is about to strike I bring up my hand, the rock still clenched within and with the most strength I could muster, I brought it down. The sharp edge slamming into the beast eye, sending it barrelling to the side, still I didn't let up, crawling over to the beast unwilling to let it attack. I brought the rock up, cupped between my hands and drove it down, smashing into the bone.

Blood splattered through the beast, it's sharp, shrill yelp muffled by the splashing. Again and again I drove it down, smashing the beast's skull, the bones glistening in the torch light. The muscle oozed out, covering my knees, I didn't stop only grimaced before containing the onslaught. It made a final whimper before it fell silent, it's body limp.

I stumbled back, sickness creeping its way up. I was locked onto the beast, eyes widening as I took in the sight, the limp figure, the mattered fur, the broken bones, the blood. I turned away, slumping to my knees and began to dry heave, speckles of vomit flying from my mouth. What had I done? What have I become? I stare down at my hands, the blood beginning to dry and crack, my neck still wet but I held no concern, all I was able to focus on was the blood that painted my skin. I didn't want to do it! I...I.I didn't, this doesn't mean anything right?

I let out a sob, curling in, arms locking around my knees, my body shaking. Had I become a monster without knowing? Have I slowly lost who I truly was? I picked up my head eyes blood shot and raw, the dullness slowly consuming me. I am a monster, I'm the beast, I'm evil...Just as Uther told, he was right.

-

We finally got a move on, the torch slowly decreasing as the night went on. We had back tracked, understanding that we wouldn't get anywhere if we simple stood there. We came across hallways, each of them the same, and none holding an escape, it seemed pointless, a hopeless journey that would never end. But then luck finally came.

"Merlin!" Elyan hissed, hand tightening across my shoulder. He pointed to the left, where a small, hidden door lay. It was covered in blood, thick liquid pooling around the surface, but we couldn't be happier. We dove to our knees, scraping against the ground, tugging on the handle. We couldn't take long, couldn't risk letting the chance escape. We pulled until splinters were buried into our skin, blood trickling down, coating the handle. A harsh tug and it flew open sending us sprawling to our backs, it seemed too good to be true. Fresh air danced towards us, filling our lungs and clearing our minds, we dove forwards crawling through the passage. Bumping and stumbling over ourselves in relief.

We landed outside, soft ground cushioning our landing, we didn't look back, didn't spare even a glance towards the nightmare behind us. We just jumped to our feet and ran for our lives. Unable to remain any longer, we ran until our legs ached, until our chest heaved with exhaustion.

"Elyan! Elyan!" I yelled pulling him to a stop, his body was shaking, heat radiating off him as he rested against my shoulder. I softly dropped to the ground, placing him beside me. Sweat clinging to his brow.

"We actually did it Merlin, we actually escape that hell." he trailed off, eyes fluttering close, I grinned bumping his shoulder before gazing into the forest, the trees deep and large, shielding us from the moonlight.

"Yeah we did, didn't we?" I collapsed beside him, body exhausted beyond belief, bones weak and mind weary. Finally we've finally escaped that hell. I glance to the side, knowing how although this may be over, recovery will be just as brutal. I pushed myself up, gripping the stone behind me until I could remain standing, it was getting cold, the wind blowing through our pitiful clothing, blood drying and clinging to our skins. Elyan drew back his eyes, before slowly nodded, understanding the need to continue, I pulled him up, his arm wrapping around my neck as he tested out his strength. We began walking, heading straight into the dark forest, unknowing of the creature that followed, hidden within the shadows.


End file.
